Day six

I have been waking up earlier before my alarm goes off and I feel good, wide awake and ready to start the day. That has definitely been a plus in stopping drinking, eating healthier, drinking more water, and exercising more. I feel better.

I've been coming to work armed with bottles of water, carrots and nuts for snacks. Though I keep the nuts in the car for emergencies, because they have a lot of calories/fat/salt. And I've cut down the splenda and the amount of (nonfat) creamer in my coffee. I've been drinking a lot more water, a bottle of water before lunch and a bottle after, and then as much as I can at home, and at least one big glass before I go to bed.

I've been to the gym 4 out of the 6 days this week, I haven't been today and thats where I'm running into the problem.

I have an extra long lunch break today. I could go do anything right now. I could spend a lot of time at the gym and feel great afterwards. I'm really cold right now, and the thought of getting warm is a nice thought (which is why I just got a coffee). But I can't bring myself to go today. It's not even like I do a super hardcore workout. I just have no desire to undress in front of everyone, pull on my gym clothes, walk up the stairs and get on the ellipitcal machine like a good girl. I'd much rather go to carls jr and get a chicken terriakyi burger. Because that sounds glorious after 5 days of eating nothing but yogurt, cereal, meal bars, carrots, cottage cheese and lots of coffee.

Those foods are fine, I like them and I generally eat pretty healthy. But I'm hungry and tired and cold and want to eat that burger and lie down. Which is bad!!! So I'm not going to do it. But I'm going to sit here and think about it, and when I start to convince myself that it wouldn't be that big of a deal, I'll google "Calories+chicken terriakyi burger+Carls Jr" and watch the number pop up with the amount of time it would take on the treadmill to get rid of it and it's just not worth it. I hate going to the gym already, why give myself a requirement to go later for longer to burn just that, when I could go to the gym later and burn extra calories?

I'm mad at myself for not being able to go to a WW meeting yet... I've been paying for 2 weeks and haven't even gone yet. Things come up at night that I cant avoid or miss, or I dont get off of work in time, so I keep missing them. I think though that I might be able to make the one tonight. Cross your fingers.

I wish I could just teleport to the gym. Half the battle is just getting up the oomph to get there. But if I teleported there right this second, I'd have no reason to not hop on the machine and go. Yesterday I brought my ipod (which I always do) and watched Grey's on it and the 20 minutes went by faster, even though 20 minutes isn't that long and i've watched those episodes so many times I know the lines by heart, haha. They have lots of TV's with shows like project runway and i love lucy, but the little things you plug your headphones in never work! they're all broken. Speaking of broken, I had to go on 3 different machines yesterday to find one that worked. What's up with that 24? You're falling behind!

I live with 2 boys and a girl, and there is a continuous stream of people that come in and out of our house. Which is good, because we tend to get a bunch of junk food laying around that none of us actually eat, it's just given to us. SO we kill two birds with one stone, 1. we dont have to throw away food because 2. we're offering it to our guests and they gladly take it off our hands. But I was intriugied by everyone on these blogs' obsession with the Biggest Loser and I made one of my housemates turn it on and sooner or later everyone who was at our house trickled in and started watching it. So here's 7 or so college/out of college kids watching this show and looking at the transformations of some of the people and it was amazing. I want my housemates to look at me next fall and say, "wow, that's amazing. you're so much healthier." I want my friends who live out of the state/country to see me next september and say, "wow. you look GREAT!"

So that, my friend, is my motivation for the day. I will go to the gym later and go to my WW meeting tonight if I get off of work early. So there :)

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Albert Schweitzer

I dont love the gym. But I will learn to love the gym. I will learn to love and appreciate all that it offers and gives me. And I will learn to love to be healthy. I will learn to love me, regardless of my weight, and I will love myself so much I will be successful in losing this weight. Right? Right!